That Was The Decade That Was

So that was the decade that was. The naughties are now consigned to history where they will fight with other decades for prominence. What other period of time could boast the dot com bubble, the start of World War 3 (it’s happening folks, even if you don’t realise it), the invention of social networking, one World Cup ruined by Roy Keane and another by the hand of frog, the election of a black President in America, Tsunamis and the brutal clubbing to death of the Celtic Tiger?

If you’re Irish like me, the World Cups and the untimely death of our feline economy will vie for top place, your individual preference being based on whether you have a job or not. I have one, so I lean towards the football. Unfortunately, the media aren’t quite up to speed on that issue. I still await the great scholarly work explaining how Thierry Henry was quite literally the hand-tool of the devil.

The economy, on the other hand, is well served in this regard. I took the opportunity over Christmas, when not sunbathing and cavorting around New Zealand, to catch up on events in my home country through the medium of David McWilliams latest book and a DVD of “Pure Mule”, a TV series of such immense beauty and social narrative that it will be taught to Irish school children in the future.

“Follow the Money” is a great read but depressing at the same time. McWilliams conclusion is that Ireland is screwed no matter what happens. He argues that we should leave the Euro and hand the country back to the Brits with a little post-it note saying “Sorry about the mess”. He suggests that Australia is the only logical bolthole, which is worrying for me. I thought I was the first one to realise this back in 2007 and wanted to preserve my smugness.

“Pure Mule”, on the other hand, brought me back to the heady days of 2005 when social status was judged on how many properties you owned and how many spa hotels you had visited in the last year. It ran for only six episodes, each individually handcrafted by playwright Eugene O’Brien and I have been looking for a DVD copy for the last four years. I even wrote to the production company like some star crossed teenaged stalker, but to no avail.

I had given up hope until last month when I found myself stumbling through Dublin Airport on the way to the US, nursing a hangover and in desperate need of sleep. I wandered round the gift shop to kill some time and found what I had been searching for these past four years.

Box sets are probably the best invention of the last decade, allowing the time starved viewer to watch at his leisure, which usually means guilty weekends watching 12 episodes of “The West Wing” back to back.

Pure Mule came with bonus episodes made in 2009, which allowed a sociologically comparison of the boom years in 2005 to the bust era that Ireland now suffers from. I watched all 8 episodes in a guilty weekend after new years and was taken by how much my home country has changed in the four years that separated the series from its finale.

Back in 2005, in the fictional midlands town in which the series is set, most people worked in construction or supporting services, such as selling drink and cigarettes to construction workers. The first meal of the day consisted of a breakfast roll stuffed deep fried pig presented in several formats. Dinner on the other hand was consumed in the posh French or Thai restaurant which had opened in town.

Fast forward to 2009 and construction in Ireland is only carried out by children with Lego sets. Drink and tobacco sales seem to be holding up however. When Guinness starts losing business, we’re all in trouble.

To an ex-pat like me, it was a sobering summary of how my homeland has imploded. I like to think I saw it coming and that played a large part in my decision to emigrate to Australia. In fact I can trace my decision back to May 2006, when I read an article by economist Morgan Kelly. He predicted the crash pretty much as it transpired and you don’t need me to tell you because Morgan is busy filling the media with “I told you so” stories. Smugness, it seems, is the only growing business in Ireland these days.

One thing that will never decline however, is the ability of Irish people to tell a story. There are only 4 million of us and we make up less than 1% of the English speaking population of the world, yet we’ve won 4% of Nobel Prizes for literature. If you visit bookstores in Melbourne or Auckland as I did this Christmas, you’ll notice the prominent display of Irish writers from Joseph O’Connor to Colm McCarty to Marion Keyes to Colm Toibin. It’s a sobering thought when I sit down each week to write this blog. There are many great Irish writers and some of them are even able to get paid for it

I thought of our ability to write, sing and play when listening to an Irish podcast this week. The speaker made the valid point that Irish people don’t think. We don’t spend enough time looking for the true meaning of things or life beyond the superficial. This can be seen in the Celtic Tiger boom which was so shallow you could paddle in it.

She compares us to the French who teach philosophy in school and nurture deep thought. She might be right, but we beat the French on music and poetry for example, which are widely thought in Irish schools. In any event, too much thinking can lead you to justifying things like cheating in football matches. But let’s not dwell on that. It so naughties. Happy New Year and New Decade to you.